All of us fall into this trap of self-doubt, worthlessness, and little to no significance to those around us. All of us can quickly become consumed by the thoughts of "I don't make a difference", "I'm not impacting anyone", "I will never be enough." I fall into this lie way too easily and way too often, and I just want to say... Hey. It's not true. You make a difference. Yes, you may be struggling; yes, you may have lost vision, passion, your goals, to an overwhelming darkness and confusion. I understand. I get that, too. I go through life wondering if I'm doing ANYthing to lighten the load for anyone. I wonder if I'm even doing a speck of work for God; if I'm reaching out enough, advancing Christ's Kingdom. Anything.
Literally every time I fall into the trap, the deception, God shows me something and it's difficult to acknowledge, but almost impossible to accept. He tends to show me that it doesn't matter if what I'm doing is simply saying hi and smiling to the cashier at the grocery store, or giving a friend (or acquaintance) a hug at church, or writing the world's next bestseller, or even sending out encouragements over facebook chat. It doesn't matter. It. Doesn't. Matter. So long as you're doing something, you're doing something. Any step in the right direction is better than no step at all. Sometimes all it takes is to show up and that's enough. Sometimes you have to invite someone over for tea and spend quality time and invest in their life. And sometimes (and this is the hardest one for me), you have to be okay with the mundane by going to work each day, just to come home and spend time with family for a few short hours before bed.
When God has a plan, it doesn't mean all the pieces will fit together perfectly the first day you set out to do His will. Sometimes it's about the waiting. Sometimes it's about the mundane and being content with that. Joyful, even.
The same with people. You THINK you don't make a lick of difference in anyone's life, that you just pass through each day doing the same things and seeing the same people and nobody notices you. That you're just a wallflower. Let me tell you a secret.
You're NOT just a wallflower. YOU, yes you, make a difference. I can't explain how or when or why, so I'll leave that up to God to decide. I can't possibly know His mind or understand anything He's working out for the good of His children, but I think the key thing is to trust that there IS a plan and that it's being worked out right now. Through us. Through me and you, through every interaction with every human being on this earth.
You and I both know deep down that we need people, no matter how much it hurts to be vulnerable, no matter our past experiences, and no matter whether we're introverts or extroverts. How does it feel to you when someone pays attention to you? Gives you the time of day when they really could just ignore you and continue on with their lives? I know it gives me some twinge of hope, and like I'm not completely abandoned or alone.
The next time you pass a stranger on the street, give them a smile, maybe say hi. It may very well brighten their day, or brighten yours. The next time you see someone you care about, whether it be a family member or a friend, talk to them or hug them. Don't ignore them. If you can't believe you don't make a difference, I can't help you because I know how incredibly hard it is to sweep that mindset. But I think we need to start believing, and then make an effort, if a small one. Any effort, even if it's just getting out of bed and going to work--showing up--could impact someone's life.
Think again.
You make a difference.
God has a plan and He should hopefully be making a huge difference in your life.
You are significant and important in God's eyes. You're part of His plan.
You make a difference.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Saturday, April 18, 2015
And then I was nineteen...
Eighteen. One year in my life. A year where so many changes
happened, I could barely keep up. There were bad changes and good ones: mostly,
there were good ones disguised as bad. They were necessary to get me to where I
am now, mere hours away from nineteen.
My eighteenth year included a lot of sorrow. Four people
whom I knew and admired passed on to heaven’s gates and entered Christ’s
Kingdom. I experienced heartache like I’d never felt before. And then without
warning, I launched back into the depression of my fifteen-year-old self.
Except much worse.
My eighteenth year also included a lot of wonderful things.
I started Bible college as a part-time student, while still trying to keep up
my full-time job at a café in town. I left work when the first semester came to
a close, realizing that Bible college was exactly what I needed and that it was
healing a lot of the brokenness inside of me. I knew the only thing that would
take away the hurt was to focus on studying God’s Word and to be in constant
community with fellow believers who were going through similar battles. So I
left work in full confidence that things would brighten for me. It took many
long and extremely difficult weeks, filled with anger at God and feelings of
inadequacy and worthlessness, before I began to see God for who He really is,
and realized the only thing to turn my life around would be to constantly pursue
a relationship with Him and seek after Him daily.
My eighteenth year included a lot of writing. I wrote papers
in college and I also finished my 2nd novel, which includes a
protagonist who deals with similar mental/physical issues as I do. I attended
two One Year Adventure Novel workshops, one in the summer with my brothers, and
the other in the winter over New Years. I was still dealing with a lot, but I
developed some amazing and lasting friendships with the people from the
workshops, and they all helped me in more ways than I thought any human being
could. They contributed in helping me to seek God, and they also helped me make
some headway on my novel so that I could make it better and perhaps more
impacting.
I played a lot of soccer in my eighteenth year, and attended
a lot of movie nights with people whom I appreciate and who quickly became a
second family to me.
I got closer to my siblings and had some amazing times with
them.
I found people who like me for me, and who I can feel
comfortable being myself around.
I read a lot of books: theology, but also novels.
I sang. Tons.
I went on many adventures, both here in the community and
far beyond.
I found joy.
As I sit here reminiscing on all that my eighteenth year
consisted of, I am incredibly thankful. Yes, there are mixed emotions. My last
week of school just wrapped up and it still hasn’t hit me that goodbyes
happened today, perhaps some of them for the last time before heaven. There is also still so
much uncertainty of the future, that it scares me beyond words. But I know that
God is good and that He will provide, just as He always has. I know there are
so many wonderful expectations of the summer and next fall and my nineteenth
year in general. I’m terrified, but extremely excited.
Nineteen. I don’t know what this year will hold. Everything
thus far in my life has been unpredictable, so I predict something of a similar
nature this year. It’s going to be an adventure. A fantastic adventure. I can’t
wait.
Farewell, eighteen. Hello, nineteen. :)
Monday, March 23, 2015
Community
Today, Saturday 21st, 2015, I went on a food drive. This food drive was to help the Sexsmith Fire Department collect non-perishable food items for the homeless of Grande Prairie. I and my Evangelism class traipsed through the snow, rode in the fire trucks, got pulled along by a horse and carriage, all the while knocking on local peoples' doors and asking them for donations to the cause. Initially when I thought of this outreach event during the days leading up to it, I found myself dreading it. It would mean I would have to extend past my comfort zone and say words to people I didn't know for three to four hours on a Saturday I could otherwise be using to catch up on sleep. It would mean working together with a large group of people to accomplish a necessary task--only necessary because it's an assignment and I get graded on it--when what I thought I needed was a break from people altogether.
I also felt inadequate and like I wouldn't be much help because of my lacking social skills and having almost no experience in the area of outreaching. What I discovered as I found my way to the fire hall at 10:15 in the morning and joined one of three teams dispersing throughout town was that nobody really cared about experience or social skills. All they were asking for was our participation, in whatever way we could give of our time. The people working at the fire hall were thankful enough that many of us were willing to come out on a snowy morning and volunteer our services. Technically, it was an assignment, so we had to do it, but luckily, I got over that mindset quickly. I realized over the next few hours of knocking on doors that even though it doesn't come easily to everyone, the point is that we made the effort to reach out and to help others to reach out as well. One elderly man actually ran after my partner and I as we were walking away, and gave me a hug in appreciation as I took his bag. There were several children along the way who waited in glee with their parents for the fire truck to come their way, and then they presented their bags of food items with joyful smiles. It’s so easy as we grow older to lose joy in giving and to do it simply out of duty. The children and the elderly were more than happy to attend to the needs of the homeless in these small but helpful ways, so it encouraged me to have a heart of desire to do such things. I actually found myself having fun and enjoying the work that we were doing. I felt encouraged even as people handed over small amounts, because I was beginning to realize the benefits of giving even when I don't have much. Little bits from a lot of people will add up and end up helping in more ways than just in financial cases, and usually will be beneficial to all parties involved.
I learned a valuable thing about evangelism as a whole. Although I didn't get the chance to strike up a conversation about the Gospel message with anyone, I did get to experience others doing so. I also got to see evangelism being worked out in a new way, one I would not have expected to be productive and effective. The biggest thing I got out of it was that evangelism in subtlety can often be one of the best ways to arouse curiosity in people. Even the simplicity of gathering food for the less fortunate can be an incentive for people to ask about our motives behind the act. Assuming our motives are pure and intentional, people are likely to ask questions about our faith, which could lead to them being curious about God.
My attitude got better as the day went on and I found myself wanting to do more, even as things came to a close and we headed back to the fire hall to eat hamburgers. One major thing I learned about myself was that I find great joy in helping people. It takes effort to actually get outside and start something, but it usually ends up being worth it when the day is done. I figure if I want to impact the outside world in some way or another, I may as well start in my community and work up to bigger things.
The compassion of a firefighter moved me to recognize that some firemen are not simply living up to what's expected of them, but they're going beyond the expectations. After four of us students had done some last minute food collecting, we were heading back to the fire hall in a fire truck, and the driver stopped when he saw an elderly woman shoveling her driveway. He knew he should probably get back to the fire hall because that's where everyone else was headed, but he stopped, got out of the vehicle, and shoveled the driveway. Two students also helped shovel the sidewalk, and they did so without hesitation. Simple acts like this can go a long way for some people, and it certainly showed me that it's not hard to do. You don't have to be an accomplished person to stop by and help someone in need, but at the same time, you can be accomplished and still desire to go past what's expected of you. If you're only going about your life fulfilling your duties and not constantly seeking to do more, you won't really gain a whole lot. I felt encouraged as I saw God working through the community of Sexsmith on Saturday, through the food drive and beyond.
I also felt inadequate and like I wouldn't be much help because of my lacking social skills and having almost no experience in the area of outreaching. What I discovered as I found my way to the fire hall at 10:15 in the morning and joined one of three teams dispersing throughout town was that nobody really cared about experience or social skills. All they were asking for was our participation, in whatever way we could give of our time. The people working at the fire hall were thankful enough that many of us were willing to come out on a snowy morning and volunteer our services. Technically, it was an assignment, so we had to do it, but luckily, I got over that mindset quickly. I realized over the next few hours of knocking on doors that even though it doesn't come easily to everyone, the point is that we made the effort to reach out and to help others to reach out as well. One elderly man actually ran after my partner and I as we were walking away, and gave me a hug in appreciation as I took his bag. There were several children along the way who waited in glee with their parents for the fire truck to come their way, and then they presented their bags of food items with joyful smiles. It’s so easy as we grow older to lose joy in giving and to do it simply out of duty. The children and the elderly were more than happy to attend to the needs of the homeless in these small but helpful ways, so it encouraged me to have a heart of desire to do such things. I actually found myself having fun and enjoying the work that we were doing. I felt encouraged even as people handed over small amounts, because I was beginning to realize the benefits of giving even when I don't have much. Little bits from a lot of people will add up and end up helping in more ways than just in financial cases, and usually will be beneficial to all parties involved.
I learned a valuable thing about evangelism as a whole. Although I didn't get the chance to strike up a conversation about the Gospel message with anyone, I did get to experience others doing so. I also got to see evangelism being worked out in a new way, one I would not have expected to be productive and effective. The biggest thing I got out of it was that evangelism in subtlety can often be one of the best ways to arouse curiosity in people. Even the simplicity of gathering food for the less fortunate can be an incentive for people to ask about our motives behind the act. Assuming our motives are pure and intentional, people are likely to ask questions about our faith, which could lead to them being curious about God.
My attitude got better as the day went on and I found myself wanting to do more, even as things came to a close and we headed back to the fire hall to eat hamburgers. One major thing I learned about myself was that I find great joy in helping people. It takes effort to actually get outside and start something, but it usually ends up being worth it when the day is done. I figure if I want to impact the outside world in some way or another, I may as well start in my community and work up to bigger things.
The compassion of a firefighter moved me to recognize that some firemen are not simply living up to what's expected of them, but they're going beyond the expectations. After four of us students had done some last minute food collecting, we were heading back to the fire hall in a fire truck, and the driver stopped when he saw an elderly woman shoveling her driveway. He knew he should probably get back to the fire hall because that's where everyone else was headed, but he stopped, got out of the vehicle, and shoveled the driveway. Two students also helped shovel the sidewalk, and they did so without hesitation. Simple acts like this can go a long way for some people, and it certainly showed me that it's not hard to do. You don't have to be an accomplished person to stop by and help someone in need, but at the same time, you can be accomplished and still desire to go past what's expected of you. If you're only going about your life fulfilling your duties and not constantly seeking to do more, you won't really gain a whole lot. I felt encouraged as I saw God working through the community of Sexsmith on Saturday, through the food drive and beyond.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Shoes
So. A little note on shoes. Weird, I know, especially coming from a girl who is currently trapped for another 6 hours in the Edmonton airport. But really, I'm serious here.
I put on some shoes earlier today that I regret putting on. I'm here at the airport wondering what the heck I was doing. I KNEW they were uncomfortable, and I KNEW something like converse would be much more travel-worthy (not to mention, they look an incredible amount better than these old Keds here I'm wearing--vain, I know... whoever said vanity was at the bottom of my list of things I need to work on?) Anyways. Back on topic. It dawned on me that these shoes were THE WORST thing possible to happen to me and would ruin my entire trip. Yes. My entire one-week trip. Drastic, I know, but unfortunately my mind works like that. It gets one minuscule thing attached to it and never ever ever lets go unless I either a. go back home immediately and discard of the old shoes, putting the new ones on, or b. finally explode in a massive fit of rage and buy the first pair of shoes that I see, ugly though they might be, in attempts to cover the perfect flaw I created for myself. Because yes, in my mind, I made the mistake of a century and everyone is going to notice and HATE me for it. Okay, so option "a" is obviously not possible because I'm already several hundred miles from home, and option "b" is, well, a little impossible because it's kind of the middle of the night and most of the shops at the airport are shut down until the morning. So I go with the only possible way to keep my mind from exploding its guts everywhere and grossing people out. Drink coffee, write rage entries in my diary, and read a very very very helpful passage in the Psalms. Like, oh my goodness. Look at this: "It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect." I circled the word "perfect" several times in my Bible. (Psalm 18 is amazing, go read it right now)
You see, I have an alternate reality that is very much present in my mind and it is called PERFECTION. I like picturing the future and imagining what I might look like meeting some people I really really admire with like, the perfect clothing, right down to the shoes I'm wearing. And if something doesn't feel right or whatever, IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK. The perfect scenario IS RUINED FOREVER. Drastic, I know, but that's me.
Okay, so why exactly am I telling you about my inability to be happy with the shoe choices I've made? Well.
Today's sermon was basically... Don't let your heart deceive you and actually examine the paths you're walking right now and see if they're God-glorifying or just doing what the flesh desires. Also, HANG ONTO INSTRUCTION FOR DEAR LIFE.
Um. Yeah. So for the past few weeks, there's been stuff I've been doing and thinking and actually believing that is not me to do and think and believe. I wanted it to be me, honestly, but it wasn't. It could never be me, no matter how much I wanted it. People were telling me I was wrong, but I wasn't listening. There was a choice I had to make and I wanted the easiest way out, the shoes I thought were the most comfortable for the path I was about to embark on. I wanted perfection basically, but in the easiest way possible. Turns out sometimes even that which appears easiest in the beginning is in no way easy in the long run.
Those shoes. They're the easiest to take on and off, making security a million times easier. Yet... They've turned out to be super uncomfortable to travel in. My feet are cold all the time! They don't support my already horribly flat arches!
Same with this decision I had to make. I wanted to believe that a particular choice was the easy way out of some crap I'm going through, but actually... Yeah, pretty much the opposite. Probably. I mean, I'm not 100% sure either way, but all I know is one way looks easy and has turned out to be complicated. The other way is SO much harder on the outside, but I've seen positive effects from it. Sometimes the long way 'round is so worth it. Just taking that extra time to do pretty important stuff is lasting and valuable.
Simply put, life is hard. Feeling okay about your choices depends on your mindset and where your heart is at. Anyways, that was my middle-of-the-night rant. I'm feeling better about stuff now. Trying not to let my choices become me. I played a grand piano in the airport. That was different and cool. Yay!
Peacing out for some Doctor Who.
I put on some shoes earlier today that I regret putting on. I'm here at the airport wondering what the heck I was doing. I KNEW they were uncomfortable, and I KNEW something like converse would be much more travel-worthy (not to mention, they look an incredible amount better than these old Keds here I'm wearing--vain, I know... whoever said vanity was at the bottom of my list of things I need to work on?) Anyways. Back on topic. It dawned on me that these shoes were THE WORST thing possible to happen to me and would ruin my entire trip. Yes. My entire one-week trip. Drastic, I know, but unfortunately my mind works like that. It gets one minuscule thing attached to it and never ever ever lets go unless I either a. go back home immediately and discard of the old shoes, putting the new ones on, or b. finally explode in a massive fit of rage and buy the first pair of shoes that I see, ugly though they might be, in attempts to cover the perfect flaw I created for myself. Because yes, in my mind, I made the mistake of a century and everyone is going to notice and HATE me for it. Okay, so option "a" is obviously not possible because I'm already several hundred miles from home, and option "b" is, well, a little impossible because it's kind of the middle of the night and most of the shops at the airport are shut down until the morning. So I go with the only possible way to keep my mind from exploding its guts everywhere and grossing people out. Drink coffee, write rage entries in my diary, and read a very very very helpful passage in the Psalms. Like, oh my goodness. Look at this: "It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect." I circled the word "perfect" several times in my Bible. (Psalm 18 is amazing, go read it right now)
You see, I have an alternate reality that is very much present in my mind and it is called PERFECTION. I like picturing the future and imagining what I might look like meeting some people I really really admire with like, the perfect clothing, right down to the shoes I'm wearing. And if something doesn't feel right or whatever, IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK. The perfect scenario IS RUINED FOREVER. Drastic, I know, but that's me.
Okay, so why exactly am I telling you about my inability to be happy with the shoe choices I've made? Well.
Today's sermon was basically... Don't let your heart deceive you and actually examine the paths you're walking right now and see if they're God-glorifying or just doing what the flesh desires. Also, HANG ONTO INSTRUCTION FOR DEAR LIFE.
Um. Yeah. So for the past few weeks, there's been stuff I've been doing and thinking and actually believing that is not me to do and think and believe. I wanted it to be me, honestly, but it wasn't. It could never be me, no matter how much I wanted it. People were telling me I was wrong, but I wasn't listening. There was a choice I had to make and I wanted the easiest way out, the shoes I thought were the most comfortable for the path I was about to embark on. I wanted perfection basically, but in the easiest way possible. Turns out sometimes even that which appears easiest in the beginning is in no way easy in the long run.
Those shoes. They're the easiest to take on and off, making security a million times easier. Yet... They've turned out to be super uncomfortable to travel in. My feet are cold all the time! They don't support my already horribly flat arches!
Same with this decision I had to make. I wanted to believe that a particular choice was the easy way out of some crap I'm going through, but actually... Yeah, pretty much the opposite. Probably. I mean, I'm not 100% sure either way, but all I know is one way looks easy and has turned out to be complicated. The other way is SO much harder on the outside, but I've seen positive effects from it. Sometimes the long way 'round is so worth it. Just taking that extra time to do pretty important stuff is lasting and valuable.
Simply put, life is hard. Feeling okay about your choices depends on your mindset and where your heart is at. Anyways, that was my middle-of-the-night rant. I'm feeling better about stuff now. Trying not to let my choices become me. I played a grand piano in the airport. That was different and cool. Yay!
Peacing out for some Doctor Who.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Dirt
Dirt. Flaws. Did you know that flawed people are actually beautiful, not ugly? It's 'cause they've come through the flaws, pushed through the mistakes, and if they actually learned something, have developed into something marvelous. The mistakes are there to add a sweep of grace. Bet you don't often stop to think about the beautiful dirt, the perfect messes, the hatred turned love. I'll bet you even shun the dirt and block it from thought along with the rest of the world. You're probably completely obsessed with staying clean, maintaining order and perfection, running as fast as you can away from the grime and filth and general suckiness of falling into turmoil.
Guess what? Don't be afraid to fall because the only way you'll find light is if you step at least partways into the darkness. True, some people might never make it out again, but if you do find your way back, keep the fire burning and use it to keep others warm.
Think for a moment. Housemoms: They spend every waking hour sacrificing themselves for their kids. They feed them, change them, clean up after them, train them and equip them for survival as adults, nurture them... Housemoms. Not perfect, but perfectly flawed. They most definitely make the world a warmer place.
Dents in a well-driven vehicle. Perhaps this car is owned by a single girl who travels two hours away from home twice a month to try to bring hope to her dying grandmother. She knows she can't offer much, but it is precisely this acknowledgement of a flaw that keeps her going. Beautifully flawed.
Scabs and scars on the hands of the dad who provides for his family day after day, only stopping to eat, to sleep, and to spend a few hours of quality time with the ones he loves. Flawed, but rewarding.
The businessman who juggles more clients in a day than sanity allows, even through a blatant headache, meeting demands almost impossible to fulfill, yet striving to keep the business alive. Flawed.
The mud gathered up around the rubber boots of the little boy running out in the rain to fetch the mail. Showing up on the doorstep with a grin on his face and giving his mother reason to first stare in shock at her clean floor dirtied up, then laugh. Lack of dirt brings lack of character.
The rough draft of a novel. Without roughness, we can't scrape through and polish it and find the beauty inside. Without the flaws, we can't wring out the message.
Dirt makes patterns. Art. It can touch lives. We relate to those who have gone through similar circumstances. We gain hope when we see how far they've come.
As human beings, we love imperfectly. But I think that's the point. That even though we're imperfect and we know it, that doesn't stop us from loving. We still love and we care and we learn from the mistakes of our past.
We learn to see the flaws, recognize them, and without hesitation, remove them. We ask God, our friends, even our enemies, for help.
We are beautifully flawed. To have a flaw does not mean we're utterly weak and helpless. It just means we're that much closer to being strong.
Flaws are okay.
We're okay.
Dirt is necessary.
Guess what? Don't be afraid to fall because the only way you'll find light is if you step at least partways into the darkness. True, some people might never make it out again, but if you do find your way back, keep the fire burning and use it to keep others warm.
Think for a moment. Housemoms: They spend every waking hour sacrificing themselves for their kids. They feed them, change them, clean up after them, train them and equip them for survival as adults, nurture them... Housemoms. Not perfect, but perfectly flawed. They most definitely make the world a warmer place.
Dents in a well-driven vehicle. Perhaps this car is owned by a single girl who travels two hours away from home twice a month to try to bring hope to her dying grandmother. She knows she can't offer much, but it is precisely this acknowledgement of a flaw that keeps her going. Beautifully flawed.
Scabs and scars on the hands of the dad who provides for his family day after day, only stopping to eat, to sleep, and to spend a few hours of quality time with the ones he loves. Flawed, but rewarding.
The businessman who juggles more clients in a day than sanity allows, even through a blatant headache, meeting demands almost impossible to fulfill, yet striving to keep the business alive. Flawed.
The mud gathered up around the rubber boots of the little boy running out in the rain to fetch the mail. Showing up on the doorstep with a grin on his face and giving his mother reason to first stare in shock at her clean floor dirtied up, then laugh. Lack of dirt brings lack of character.
The rough draft of a novel. Without roughness, we can't scrape through and polish it and find the beauty inside. Without the flaws, we can't wring out the message.
Dirt makes patterns. Art. It can touch lives. We relate to those who have gone through similar circumstances. We gain hope when we see how far they've come.
As human beings, we love imperfectly. But I think that's the point. That even though we're imperfect and we know it, that doesn't stop us from loving. We still love and we care and we learn from the mistakes of our past.
We learn to see the flaws, recognize them, and without hesitation, remove them. We ask God, our friends, even our enemies, for help.
We are beautifully flawed. To have a flaw does not mean we're utterly weak and helpless. It just means we're that much closer to being strong.
Flaws are okay.
We're okay.
Dirt is necessary.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Titleless, but Important Stuff nonetheless
I honestly have no idea what I'm going to write about. I just know I have to write a blog post. I'm sitting here in the dark on my bed at 12:26 AM, a Wednesday morning, so tired that tears are coming out of my eyes. Yet the caffeine I consumed roughly six hours ago is still ravaging through my system, refusing to allow that thing called sleep to overcome me. I know exhaustion will soon enough take over, but for now I remain awake, aiming to talk about something deep and thought-provoking, and yet not really knowing where I'm going.
It's August 27th. On this day, one year ago, I was probably lying in bed sleeping, or sitting in bed rocking myself to sleep, trying to convince myself that no, no we were not moving twelve hours away from home, to a new province, a new church, an entirely new life. Trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that in a month I wouldn't be gone from the home I'd lived in for eight years, that I would not be torn from my best friends and placed in a land full of strange and unfamiliar people. It was too wild for me. I'd already gone through so much change as my best friend, my older sister, the one person who knew me and understood me, got married and moved away. That summer, I also graduated with a few of my closest friends. That summer, I experienced the relief of emotions for the first time in two years. At least I harbored no more bitterness in my heart.
Here I am. Same family, different life, different job, different me. Well, the same me, yes, but different. More shaped, yet also more confused. Somehow, I'm okay with this confusion. Somehow, I can push through it and trust that God knows what He's doing. I'll admit it's hard most days, but I find enough hope in the little things and in the people around me, that I really don't need to worry. God's there. He puts specific people in my life to meet specific needs. He never ceases to surprise me with the unexpected moments.
This summer, I became an aunt. I traveled to Alaska to visit my sister and my darling niece, Cassandra. This summer, I also traveled to Kansas for my second time, carting my brothers along with me. We attended the 2014 OYAN Summer Workshop. We came home early to witness a funeral of a dear brother in Christ and to be there for those in mourning. I got my license after the fourth try. I found people to call my own people and to smile about all the time. I lost my grip on reality and snatched it back again. I played soccer a lot. I hiked a mountain.
Once again, I have no idea what I'm writing about. All I can say, really, is this. If you can't put your hope in the big things, if you find hope in general just scattered, if you keep on losing your way, look deeper because there are always the little moments. Whenever I get overwhelmed and confused in a crowd of people (introverts ftw), I always look for one person to migrate to. Doesn't really matter who, just one person so that I don't stay lost and so that I have some kind of focal point. Do that with moments in your life. If you're having a crappy day, but there was this one thing that happened that made you smile... Think about it over and over and over and over again. And smile each time.
Honestly. Do it. Goodnight.
It's August 27th. On this day, one year ago, I was probably lying in bed sleeping, or sitting in bed rocking myself to sleep, trying to convince myself that no, no we were not moving twelve hours away from home, to a new province, a new church, an entirely new life. Trying to convince myself that it wasn't true, that in a month I wouldn't be gone from the home I'd lived in for eight years, that I would not be torn from my best friends and placed in a land full of strange and unfamiliar people. It was too wild for me. I'd already gone through so much change as my best friend, my older sister, the one person who knew me and understood me, got married and moved away. That summer, I also graduated with a few of my closest friends. That summer, I experienced the relief of emotions for the first time in two years. At least I harbored no more bitterness in my heart.
Here I am. Same family, different life, different job, different me. Well, the same me, yes, but different. More shaped, yet also more confused. Somehow, I'm okay with this confusion. Somehow, I can push through it and trust that God knows what He's doing. I'll admit it's hard most days, but I find enough hope in the little things and in the people around me, that I really don't need to worry. God's there. He puts specific people in my life to meet specific needs. He never ceases to surprise me with the unexpected moments.
This summer, I became an aunt. I traveled to Alaska to visit my sister and my darling niece, Cassandra. This summer, I also traveled to Kansas for my second time, carting my brothers along with me. We attended the 2014 OYAN Summer Workshop. We came home early to witness a funeral of a dear brother in Christ and to be there for those in mourning. I got my license after the fourth try. I found people to call my own people and to smile about all the time. I lost my grip on reality and snatched it back again. I played soccer a lot. I hiked a mountain.
Once again, I have no idea what I'm writing about. All I can say, really, is this. If you can't put your hope in the big things, if you find hope in general just scattered, if you keep on losing your way, look deeper because there are always the little moments. Whenever I get overwhelmed and confused in a crowd of people (introverts ftw), I always look for one person to migrate to. Doesn't really matter who, just one person so that I don't stay lost and so that I have some kind of focal point. Do that with moments in your life. If you're having a crappy day, but there was this one thing that happened that made you smile... Think about it over and over and over and over again. And smile each time.
Honestly. Do it. Goodnight.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Meet Vincent
I named him so because of one of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who, Vincent and The Doctor. Vincent Van Gogh in the episode has a ginger beard, and my lion is orange, so I figured... Why not? ^_^
I won Vincent at a birthday party a couple months ago. Now, every time I look at him, I can be reminded of one of the best characters in Doctor Who since Sarah Jane and Tom Baker ruled the show.
Vincent and the Doctor is a story of undying love, of beauty through pain, of a heart so passionate it hurts. Together with Amy Pond, the Eleventh generation of the Doctor travels through time in his TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) and meets the famous (or not-so-famous yet) painter, Vincent van Gogh, in the attempts of alleviating some of his pain and battling an invisible monster that plagues the village and its inhabitants. Vincent shows such kindness to the Doctor and Amy as I've never seen before by anyone, and his passion... Oh, his passion is something to admire. The way he talks about the stars and makes reference to God's creation in such a way that almost accurately portrays their brilliance. Not many people can say that they've looked up into the heavens on a starry night as a Dutch artist with a flaming red beard and a heart overflowing with passion and delight describes the entire scene to them in words so beautiful, anyone would be captured. In a perspective that is so completely and refreshingly his.
And the pain he goes through. You can see it, you can feel it, you can relate to it. That's how real this magnificent character is. At the beginning of the episode, the Doctor and Amy meet him trying to sell a painting of his. He just wants to be heard, to be noticed. But more than that, he wants the beauty of life to be seen by everyone, not just himself. He yearns for it to be appreciated just as much as he clings to it. Yet when nobody else sees it as he does, he despairs and sinks into loneliness and no one can lift him out of it. But he still has a faint glimmer of hope, and that's what matters. And he can see Amy's loneliness because of how true his heart is. He, above most, knows people. He's experienced the raw emotions of sorrow, regret, delight, loneliness, overwhelming joy, love, compassion, deep sadness. He cries for the world because he knows.
And then there's the Doctor. Lonely as ever, tortured with pain and sadness and losing people, though with an enthusiasm so bright that he listens intently as Vincent tells him about the magnificence of the universe, while silently saying "I know. I've seen all of this and much, much more. I've seen the universe at its best and at its worst. I've seen the stars in their fullest radiance and I've felt the heat of the sun, so I know. You don't need to tell me." The Doctor admires and appreciates things everywhere. Vincent is grounded on earth and appreciates them from afar.
Vincent Van Gogh: Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is, in fact deep blue. And over there: lighter blue and blowing through the blues and blackness the winds swirling through the air and then shining, burning, bursting through: the stars! And you see how they roar their light. Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
Vincent Van Gogh: It seems to me there's so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe, if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamt of.
The Doctor: You don't have to tell me.
And then they show Vincent into the TARDIS and take him to a modern day museum where he sees all of his paintings displayed on the walls. He was noticed, his voice was heard. Even if it took until after his death.
Vincent Van Gogh: [after seeing the TARDIS interior] How come I'm the crazy one, and you two have stayed both sane?
And when Vincent heard this being spoken of him... He cried.
The Doctor: Between you and me, in a hundred words, where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?
Curator: Well... um... big question, but, to me Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular, great painter of all time. The most beloved, his command of colour most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world, no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.
Later, once they said their farewells to their painter friend, they discovered Vincent took his life only a few short months later. His suicide still happened, though he seemed to have regained new hope.
Amy Pond: We didn't make a difference at all.
The Doctor: I wouldn't say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. [hugs Amy] The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.
I don't think there's any more that can be said. The Doctor said it perfectly. Everyone, a moment of silence for our dear friend, Vincent Van Gogh, who made a difference. Who let his passions be discovered and who influenced a world of hurting people. Praise God for a man like Van Gogh.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Home
People say home is where the heart is. Well, if that's true, then home is definitely in Kansas with my OYANers and Mr. and Mrs. S and the workshops.
Lately, I've been feeling like there's something missing in my life. Something that's been torn out of me, leaving me emotionless and empty. It's like I'm at home, but I'm not REALLY at home. A piece of my heart is gone, left long ago in the summer months of last year, in a lovely little place called Olathe, Kansas. And I long for that life again.
Don't get me wrong now. I love my family here in Canada. I love my life, love my friends, love everything about this place and where God has put me in life. I love that He's given me a purpose for living, a chance to be a warrior to fight for truth. But sometimes a person has to dream. And sometimes that dream is Kansas, at a writer's workshop, with a bunch of crazy homeschooled teens and a growing number of college students. And sometimes that dream is something else. But I'd like to say my dream is to be with my OYANers again.
I've been an OYANer for three and a half years now. I've been through many of the ruts and bumps that an online forum community can possibly have, and I've been through some of the most amazing, life-changing moments of my life. I've made some of the best friends I have through that curriculum and community, and I've learned more about myself and about God through it all. I love that not only have I, as an individual, grown over these past three and a half years, but the entire OYAN family has grown and developed and matured along with one another. And there's a whole host of people who are new to this wonderful thing, and we, as an older generation, get to disciple and advise them along their writing/life journeys. :)
So, yes. My heart lies with OYAN. OYAN is my home. And even though it's looking impossible for me to travel back to see my family this summer, I can hold onto the hope of one day meeting them again. It's that one place I belong. I said I would never leave back when I first started... I never knew how much that small commitment would really mean.
It's changed my life. For the better.
Lately, I've been feeling like there's something missing in my life. Something that's been torn out of me, leaving me emotionless and empty. It's like I'm at home, but I'm not REALLY at home. A piece of my heart is gone, left long ago in the summer months of last year, in a lovely little place called Olathe, Kansas. And I long for that life again.
Don't get me wrong now. I love my family here in Canada. I love my life, love my friends, love everything about this place and where God has put me in life. I love that He's given me a purpose for living, a chance to be a warrior to fight for truth. But sometimes a person has to dream. And sometimes that dream is Kansas, at a writer's workshop, with a bunch of crazy homeschooled teens and a growing number of college students. And sometimes that dream is something else. But I'd like to say my dream is to be with my OYANers again.
I've been an OYANer for three and a half years now. I've been through many of the ruts and bumps that an online forum community can possibly have, and I've been through some of the most amazing, life-changing moments of my life. I've made some of the best friends I have through that curriculum and community, and I've learned more about myself and about God through it all. I love that not only have I, as an individual, grown over these past three and a half years, but the entire OYAN family has grown and developed and matured along with one another. And there's a whole host of people who are new to this wonderful thing, and we, as an older generation, get to disciple and advise them along their writing/life journeys. :)
So, yes. My heart lies with OYAN. OYAN is my home. And even though it's looking impossible for me to travel back to see my family this summer, I can hold onto the hope of one day meeting them again. It's that one place I belong. I said I would never leave back when I first started... I never knew how much that small commitment would really mean.
It's changed my life. For the better.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Love Notes Project
Firstly, take a look at this blog post by a good friend of mine.
Then, consider it. And if you're interested in participating in something like this, follow her instructions and do it. :)
I'm just about to type up a love note myself. This is definitely not something I do every day. It's just that I feel it's important because I'm getting older and things are changing. While I'm not in the stage to think about relationships such as the kind mentioned in the above blog post, I'm in the process of being taught what love is. Lack of love is a huge issue for me, something I personally struggle with daily. I tend to think of love and a relationship as what a person can do for me, rather than what I can do for others. And I know that's wrong, which is why I feel God's putting up all these obstacles and hardships for me in my friendships. So that He can teach me the true meaning of love.
I'm not sure exactly why I said all that, but there it is. All I ask is for you to consider this. :)
God bless!
~Julia
Then, consider it. And if you're interested in participating in something like this, follow her instructions and do it. :)
I'm just about to type up a love note myself. This is definitely not something I do every day. It's just that I feel it's important because I'm getting older and things are changing. While I'm not in the stage to think about relationships such as the kind mentioned in the above blog post, I'm in the process of being taught what love is. Lack of love is a huge issue for me, something I personally struggle with daily. I tend to think of love and a relationship as what a person can do for me, rather than what I can do for others. And I know that's wrong, which is why I feel God's putting up all these obstacles and hardships for me in my friendships. So that He can teach me the true meaning of love.
I'm not sure exactly why I said all that, but there it is. All I ask is for you to consider this. :)
God bless!
~Julia
Friday, January 11, 2013
Two Songs
M'kay, so this song is one of my favourites by The Afters, called "Life is Beautiful." It's featured in the movie October Baby, which is about a girl who finds out she's adopted and her birth mother tried to abort her at six months, but she survived. I think this song is a good reminder that life is precious, no matter who we are, no matter where God has placed us in life. Life is beautiful and life matters. Down to the tiniest cell in a mother's womb. Because that's something living, right?
I definitely believe so.
Also, I discovered a new band. It's called Run Kid Run. I think it's amaaaazing. My new favourite band. Here's one of their songs, "One in A Million."
~Julia
I definitely believe so.
Also, I discovered a new band. It's called Run Kid Run. I think it's amaaaazing. My new favourite band. Here's one of their songs, "One in A Million."
~Julia
Monday, December 31, 2012
Farewell, 2012.
It's New Year's Eve.
Oh, whoops, you already knew that? I'm sorry.
So, pretty much it's been an amazing year and I owe it all to God. ALL OF IT. Of course, a small percentage goes to my awesome friends and family. ;) But God is really the driving force behind everything that's happened.
True, there was a lot of bad stuff that happened. True, some of that bad stuff will be carried into the New Year and won't be fully forgotten for maybe the rest of my life. But there was also a lot of good stuff. Part of the good things were God helping me through the bad things and refusing to leave me. Even when hope seemed crushed by the giant weight of the world, He was there.
So I'm thankful. And happy. And hopefully content. And praying that God will grant me full contentment in not just the year to come, but the YEARS to come. Because it's really not about just one year, it's about all of them. Living our lives to serve God and be content with what He's blessed us with.
I'm thankful for the joys of Christmas and being reminded daily of God's purpose for coming to earth. To save us. To set us free from sin. And I'm thankful for everything God has taught me this year, even though it took pain and discomfort to go through it.
I'm thankful for my friends and the OYAN workshop and peace through the storms of life and Doctor Who and music and pillows to clutch and calm you when everything goes haywire. I'm thankful for books. And especially I'm thankful for writing and the ability to write. I'm blessed to possess this talent because without it, my life would not be so blessed with most of the other things.
Thank you, Lord.
And to everyone else, Happy New Year. May 2013 teach you a great many things and bring you everlasting joy, peace and love. And may you live to serve God each and every day, and be grateful for every blessing. Even the uncomfortable ones.
<3
~Julia
Oh, whoops, you already knew that? I'm sorry.
So, pretty much it's been an amazing year and I owe it all to God. ALL OF IT. Of course, a small percentage goes to my awesome friends and family. ;) But God is really the driving force behind everything that's happened.
True, there was a lot of bad stuff that happened. True, some of that bad stuff will be carried into the New Year and won't be fully forgotten for maybe the rest of my life. But there was also a lot of good stuff. Part of the good things were God helping me through the bad things and refusing to leave me. Even when hope seemed crushed by the giant weight of the world, He was there.
So I'm thankful. And happy. And hopefully content. And praying that God will grant me full contentment in not just the year to come, but the YEARS to come. Because it's really not about just one year, it's about all of them. Living our lives to serve God and be content with what He's blessed us with.
I'm thankful for the joys of Christmas and being reminded daily of God's purpose for coming to earth. To save us. To set us free from sin. And I'm thankful for everything God has taught me this year, even though it took pain and discomfort to go through it.
I'm thankful for my friends and the OYAN workshop and peace through the storms of life and Doctor Who and music and pillows to clutch and calm you when everything goes haywire. I'm thankful for books. And especially I'm thankful for writing and the ability to write. I'm blessed to possess this talent because without it, my life would not be so blessed with most of the other things.
Thank you, Lord.
And to everyone else, Happy New Year. May 2013 teach you a great many things and bring you everlasting joy, peace and love. And may you live to serve God each and every day, and be grateful for every blessing. Even the uncomfortable ones.
<3
~Julia
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Concerning Doors
I've been praying for a miracle. Lots of miracles, actually. But mainly for a job, the answers to critical decisions I've been having to make for a long while now, and peace through all of whatever God has planned for me.
Ever since the end of the Summer Workshop, I've been trying and failing to find a job. Most of that was lack of motivation, a great chunk of it was due to pickiness and wanting the "perfect" job, but a very small portion of it was not being able to find anything. I had many, many options before me. But the perfectionist side of me took over. I wasn't sure what God wanted me to do, and I was waiting for Him to show me. All summer long, I prayed and stressed about having no money, and then prayed some more. All summer, I kept on thinking of the future, of next summer, and wondering if I would ever make money, if I would ever get out of the house and actually DO something with my life. A lot of my summer was spent on the computer; chatting with friends, writing my novel, and waiting. Nothing seemed to motivate me to actually apply for a job. I was leaving it up to God, but I didn't want to take action myself.
These past couple weeks have been the most stressful and frustrating weeks of the entire summer. As the school year is looming ever closer, I kept on wondering and praying and pulling my hair out and just screaming at myself for not pushing harder to find a job. I worried that I would never be able to make money for the myriad of things I have/want/need to pay for next year and the coming fall. I worried that I wouldn't be able to do orchestra, to do choir, to go to next year's OYAN Workshop, to pay for my graduation, to pay for various things for my sister's wedding... I was beginning to lose hope of any of this ever happening. I was beginning to fear my passions would be scattered to the ground and I would have nothing left but darkness.
But I had no reason to worry.
God did a miracle. Over the past few days (and especially today and yesterday), He has been working something wonderful through something altogether unpleasant. It started yesterday as I was waiting in line at a local school to sign up for a one-semester Biology class. I was previously feeling very excited to do it, but as I sat there, I began to feel uncomfortable thinking of the secular environment I would have to be in, the information that would be fed to me from the Science textbook that ran contrary to my beliefs. Something stirred inside me and screamed at me, "NO! DON'T DO THIS! DON'T SIGN UP!" But, as I've become quite good at doing, I ignored the voice of reason and went through with it. I signed up, payed for the textbook, and went home.
After that, I was looking through the book. Things popped up at me. I began to feel sick to my stomach, just looking through the sorts of things public schools teach. And then I began to reconsider even signing up. A fierce headache zapped me and the stress started to pile up in my brain again. I took out my "Exploring Creation with Biology" textbook by J. Wile and soaked in the richness of the pages, the cleanness, the fulfilling information within it. The headache worsened. I worried that I had made the wrong decision.
So I took a nap. But my brain kept switching between a firm "NO" and a resounding "YES." One part of me said, "No, Julia, you made the right decision, and you should just go through with the class you signed up for and learn what you can." The other part said, "Yes, Julia, you made the wrong decision, and you should read the textbook that is more glorifying to God and more satisfying than any old public school textbook." So, I considered that and brought it up with my mom. She emailed my homeschool group, asking if any other teens were doing the "Exploring Creation" Biology course, and within an hour, two people replied. A 16-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl. I could be accountable and motivated this way. I wouldn't need a class full of people I didn't know. It would be far better to get to know Christian homeschoolers, whose friendships would probably last longer than any messed-up, public-schooled kid.
As my brain juggled with the idea, I started to think about my lack of work again. A couple weeks earlier, God had put it on my heart to start teaching piano to a few students. I got all excited about it and almost put an email out to the homeschool group, but then got scared. So I left it. Not long after the two emails came in about the Biology course, a lady from the same group emailed and asked if I would be willing to teach her two youngest children piano. I snatched the opportunity and said yes, and then she asked if I would ALSO be willing to teach two kids from the same family of the 16-year-old who might do Biology with me. Of course, I said yes to that, too. A week or so ago, a different lady asked for a young girl to babysit her three children on Monday nights. I will be meeting her to see if we're a good fit for each other sometime within this week. =)
God worked a way for me to do both orchestra AND choir again this year. Though piano lessons are still a little on the downside, I truly believe God will work out a way, if He really wants me to continue with piano. He worked out all of THIS, didn't He?
Funny how a Science class can teach you important lessons, even if it has nothing to do with the class at all. God's been closing a lot of doors, but those closed doors have led to open doors. Through these bad decisions, He's been showing me what I already have and that I don't NEED more. My life won't be fulfilled in a classroom. My life can be fulfilled HERE. At home, where I belong.
And now, I feel quite willing to give up this Science class to build a stronger relationship with the friends around me, with my family, and with God. And I also have more freedom to fit in the job opportunities God has presented to me.
Isn't that wonderful? God took things away so that He could make room for even GREATER things. He put me through these difficult situations in order to fill my life with blessings.
God's great. And miracles DO happen. I am overwhelmed with His love.
Ever since the end of the Summer Workshop, I've been trying and failing to find a job. Most of that was lack of motivation, a great chunk of it was due to pickiness and wanting the "perfect" job, but a very small portion of it was not being able to find anything. I had many, many options before me. But the perfectionist side of me took over. I wasn't sure what God wanted me to do, and I was waiting for Him to show me. All summer long, I prayed and stressed about having no money, and then prayed some more. All summer, I kept on thinking of the future, of next summer, and wondering if I would ever make money, if I would ever get out of the house and actually DO something with my life. A lot of my summer was spent on the computer; chatting with friends, writing my novel, and waiting. Nothing seemed to motivate me to actually apply for a job. I was leaving it up to God, but I didn't want to take action myself.
These past couple weeks have been the most stressful and frustrating weeks of the entire summer. As the school year is looming ever closer, I kept on wondering and praying and pulling my hair out and just screaming at myself for not pushing harder to find a job. I worried that I would never be able to make money for the myriad of things I have/want/need to pay for next year and the coming fall. I worried that I wouldn't be able to do orchestra, to do choir, to go to next year's OYAN Workshop, to pay for my graduation, to pay for various things for my sister's wedding... I was beginning to lose hope of any of this ever happening. I was beginning to fear my passions would be scattered to the ground and I would have nothing left but darkness.
But I had no reason to worry.
God did a miracle. Over the past few days (and especially today and yesterday), He has been working something wonderful through something altogether unpleasant. It started yesterday as I was waiting in line at a local school to sign up for a one-semester Biology class. I was previously feeling very excited to do it, but as I sat there, I began to feel uncomfortable thinking of the secular environment I would have to be in, the information that would be fed to me from the Science textbook that ran contrary to my beliefs. Something stirred inside me and screamed at me, "NO! DON'T DO THIS! DON'T SIGN UP!" But, as I've become quite good at doing, I ignored the voice of reason and went through with it. I signed up, payed for the textbook, and went home.
After that, I was looking through the book. Things popped up at me. I began to feel sick to my stomach, just looking through the sorts of things public schools teach. And then I began to reconsider even signing up. A fierce headache zapped me and the stress started to pile up in my brain again. I took out my "Exploring Creation with Biology" textbook by J. Wile and soaked in the richness of the pages, the cleanness, the fulfilling information within it. The headache worsened. I worried that I had made the wrong decision.
So I took a nap. But my brain kept switching between a firm "NO" and a resounding "YES." One part of me said, "No, Julia, you made the right decision, and you should just go through with the class you signed up for and learn what you can." The other part said, "Yes, Julia, you made the wrong decision, and you should read the textbook that is more glorifying to God and more satisfying than any old public school textbook." So, I considered that and brought it up with my mom. She emailed my homeschool group, asking if any other teens were doing the "Exploring Creation" Biology course, and within an hour, two people replied. A 16-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl. I could be accountable and motivated this way. I wouldn't need a class full of people I didn't know. It would be far better to get to know Christian homeschoolers, whose friendships would probably last longer than any messed-up, public-schooled kid.
As my brain juggled with the idea, I started to think about my lack of work again. A couple weeks earlier, God had put it on my heart to start teaching piano to a few students. I got all excited about it and almost put an email out to the homeschool group, but then got scared. So I left it. Not long after the two emails came in about the Biology course, a lady from the same group emailed and asked if I would be willing to teach her two youngest children piano. I snatched the opportunity and said yes, and then she asked if I would ALSO be willing to teach two kids from the same family of the 16-year-old who might do Biology with me. Of course, I said yes to that, too. A week or so ago, a different lady asked for a young girl to babysit her three children on Monday nights. I will be meeting her to see if we're a good fit for each other sometime within this week. =)
God worked a way for me to do both orchestra AND choir again this year. Though piano lessons are still a little on the downside, I truly believe God will work out a way, if He really wants me to continue with piano. He worked out all of THIS, didn't He?
Funny how a Science class can teach you important lessons, even if it has nothing to do with the class at all. God's been closing a lot of doors, but those closed doors have led to open doors. Through these bad decisions, He's been showing me what I already have and that I don't NEED more. My life won't be fulfilled in a classroom. My life can be fulfilled HERE. At home, where I belong.
And now, I feel quite willing to give up this Science class to build a stronger relationship with the friends around me, with my family, and with God. And I also have more freedom to fit in the job opportunities God has presented to me.
Isn't that wonderful? God took things away so that He could make room for even GREATER things. He put me through these difficult situations in order to fill my life with blessings.
God's great. And miracles DO happen. I am overwhelmed with His love.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Life is like a Bubble
The other day, I was watching my little sisters blowing bubbles. And they were the big kind. Not just the puny-sized, pop-almost-immediately kind of bubbles. These ones were huge. And they were pretty.
As I was watching these bubbles float around in the wind, a thought struck me. Life is like a bubble. Each bubble represents a person's life. No matter how big or small it is (even if it's a puny-sized one), it is significant and it represents something. Bubbles are beautiful. Life is beautiful. Inside these perfectly round spheres of substance is a beauty beyond compare. They may bump around for awhile, get tossed by the wind, clash into walls, be blown higher, but eventually they will have to find a landing place. Eventually, they will touch a surface and pop, having fulfilled their short-term goal in life. Every bubble has to pop. Every life has to end.
But then, that just leaves room for another, more beautiful bubble to emerge. New life. A new beginning. So, our lives are like bubbles. We last for a time, soaring high in the sky with wonderful dreams and aspirations inside of us, but we may or may not reach our intended goal. There will always be bumps in the road. A change in the wind. New dreams, new goals. Life is short. Maybe not as short as a bubble's, but I think you get the idea. And we need to soar while we can. Live and make a difference and give people inspirational thoughts. Just like the bubbles. Our lives may not be long enough to impact the entire world, but if we can just grab the attention of one or two people and help to change them for the better, if we can show them the life and the light of truth that rests inside of us, that will make our life worth living.
We don't live for ourselves. We never reach the destination that we thought we would reach in the beginning. Things move us and change us and we come to something far different, but something that is worth the pain and the stumbling blocks. It is far greater, and wholly rewarding.
Bubbles are amazing things, don't you think? Life is amazing. God is amazing. :)
As I was watching these bubbles float around in the wind, a thought struck me. Life is like a bubble. Each bubble represents a person's life. No matter how big or small it is (even if it's a puny-sized one), it is significant and it represents something. Bubbles are beautiful. Life is beautiful. Inside these perfectly round spheres of substance is a beauty beyond compare. They may bump around for awhile, get tossed by the wind, clash into walls, be blown higher, but eventually they will have to find a landing place. Eventually, they will touch a surface and pop, having fulfilled their short-term goal in life. Every bubble has to pop. Every life has to end.
But then, that just leaves room for another, more beautiful bubble to emerge. New life. A new beginning. So, our lives are like bubbles. We last for a time, soaring high in the sky with wonderful dreams and aspirations inside of us, but we may or may not reach our intended goal. There will always be bumps in the road. A change in the wind. New dreams, new goals. Life is short. Maybe not as short as a bubble's, but I think you get the idea. And we need to soar while we can. Live and make a difference and give people inspirational thoughts. Just like the bubbles. Our lives may not be long enough to impact the entire world, but if we can just grab the attention of one or two people and help to change them for the better, if we can show them the life and the light of truth that rests inside of us, that will make our life worth living.
We don't live for ourselves. We never reach the destination that we thought we would reach in the beginning. Things move us and change us and we come to something far different, but something that is worth the pain and the stumbling blocks. It is far greater, and wholly rewarding.
Bubbles are amazing things, don't you think? Life is amazing. God is amazing. :)
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Amazing Grace
Well. The epicness of the OYAN workshop may be long past now, but the adventure lives on. The journey isn't over. Not even close. We're still fighting the battle, we're still living the dream, we're still gasping for air at every turn. Though we all must be wrenched apart by time and distance, we're closer now than ever. We've formed a bond that is truly unbreakable. A bond of love. A bond that'll never snap because of how strong that love is. And here's why.
The workshop left me stunned and awestruck and amazed and so many other feelings that I can't even begin to describe. In short, I was changed. Completely and beautifully changed. God taught me many things throughout that week. He strengthened my ability to love, He showed me that I COULD still love, even after all the bad things that had happened in my life. He gave me hope for the future, a strong hope that I cling to even now. Best of all, He offered me a glimpse of what I truly believe heaven is going to look like. Surrounded by the ones you love each and every day, for all eternity, having a shared love for Christ and for writing and for music that glorifies God's precious name. God lavished grace upon me that week, even through the struggles that I faced, even when I felt alone. Because every time bad feelings arose, every time I started leaning towards self-doubt and self-pity, there was ALWAYS somebody there to comfort me and lift me up. Always someone near to me who understood my feelings and who would give me a hug right at the very moment I needed one.
From the beauty of the critique groups and the wonder of the lectures down to the amazing fellowship I shared with OYANers--people like me--I felt truly blessed. And there was no reason to feel alone in the slightest because at the workshop, God blessed me with the ability to be myself. To not hide my opinion. To act random and crazy and not feel ashamed for it. To dress up in costumes and watch OTHER people dress up in even wilder costumes, and feel like it was the most normal thing on earth. To have long, nerdy conversations about Doctor Who and LOTR and Chopin and other random fandoms and then geek out together about said subjects. To have silly conversations that included My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Russian accents, Fluffnarks, converse, silence marks, lemurs-turned-penguin, the Land of Ood, telepathic mind powers, hats, elf ears, and glomps, and know that such things were not weird to talk about around insane writers. To snap pictures and not feel embarrassed to do strange things in said pics... Well, okay. Maybe I felt a LITTLE embarrassed. :P To laugh and cry on the last day of the workshop when we all gathered around outside of the gym and prayed, and not feel ashamed to cry my heart out in front of so many people because of God's overwhelming grace and love. To sing Amazing Grace at the end of our tearful prayers and look up into the sky, toward the heavens, at all of the twinkling stars above, singing out the words and praising God for the beautiful week that now stood behind us.
Thank you, Lord, for the beauty of the Summer Workshop. Thank you for Mr. and Mrs. S, who have made all of this possible. Thank you for all of the speakers--Jeff Gerke, Mark Wilson, Mark Twain, Daniel Schwabauer, and yes, Carrol Schwabauer--who inspired us and who are leading us into victory through the words they shared with us. Thank you for my second family. Thank you for overwhelming me with peace and love. Thank you for showering me with mercy and your infinite goodness.
Thank you for the gift of writing.
The workshop left me stunned and awestruck and amazed and so many other feelings that I can't even begin to describe. In short, I was changed. Completely and beautifully changed. God taught me many things throughout that week. He strengthened my ability to love, He showed me that I COULD still love, even after all the bad things that had happened in my life. He gave me hope for the future, a strong hope that I cling to even now. Best of all, He offered me a glimpse of what I truly believe heaven is going to look like. Surrounded by the ones you love each and every day, for all eternity, having a shared love for Christ and for writing and for music that glorifies God's precious name. God lavished grace upon me that week, even through the struggles that I faced, even when I felt alone. Because every time bad feelings arose, every time I started leaning towards self-doubt and self-pity, there was ALWAYS somebody there to comfort me and lift me up. Always someone near to me who understood my feelings and who would give me a hug right at the very moment I needed one.
From the beauty of the critique groups and the wonder of the lectures down to the amazing fellowship I shared with OYANers--people like me--I felt truly blessed. And there was no reason to feel alone in the slightest because at the workshop, God blessed me with the ability to be myself. To not hide my opinion. To act random and crazy and not feel ashamed for it. To dress up in costumes and watch OTHER people dress up in even wilder costumes, and feel like it was the most normal thing on earth. To have long, nerdy conversations about Doctor Who and LOTR and Chopin and other random fandoms and then geek out together about said subjects. To have silly conversations that included My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Russian accents, Fluffnarks, converse, silence marks, lemurs-turned-penguin, the Land of Ood, telepathic mind powers, hats, elf ears, and glomps, and know that such things were not weird to talk about around insane writers. To snap pictures and not feel embarrassed to do strange things in said pics... Well, okay. Maybe I felt a LITTLE embarrassed. :P To laugh and cry on the last day of the workshop when we all gathered around outside of the gym and prayed, and not feel ashamed to cry my heart out in front of so many people because of God's overwhelming grace and love. To sing Amazing Grace at the end of our tearful prayers and look up into the sky, toward the heavens, at all of the twinkling stars above, singing out the words and praising God for the beautiful week that now stood behind us.
Thank you, Lord, for the beauty of the Summer Workshop. Thank you for Mr. and Mrs. S, who have made all of this possible. Thank you for all of the speakers--Jeff Gerke, Mark Wilson, Mark Twain, Daniel Schwabauer, and yes, Carrol Schwabauer--who inspired us and who are leading us into victory through the words they shared with us. Thank you for my second family. Thank you for overwhelming me with peace and love. Thank you for showering me with mercy and your infinite goodness.
Thank you for the gift of writing.
Friday, June 1, 2012
For a Special Someone...
This post is dedicated to my dear friend and OYAN sister, Adrienne!! It was her birthday two days ago, so....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADRIENNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I realize this is somewhat late, but since you helped to make MY birthday extra special, I thought I should return the favour. :) I loved reading on your blog about how amazing your birthday was. I hope I can extend that amazingness by making it just a little more special!
Things I love about Adrienne:
1. She's my sis. What's not to love about that? ;)
2. She is sweet and kind, always lending a helping hand to others, never failing to be an encouragement.
3. She loves Jesus with all her heart, constantly acknowledging her Savior through everything she does.
4. She's an OYANer and a fellow writer.
5. She views life with so much joy and passion, and challenges each day with a smile.
6. She is insanely epic. B-)
7. She's adorable!! ^_^
8. She's sarcastic and funny and downright awesome. :D
9. And perhaps best of all, SHE'S GOING TO THE SUMMER WORKSHOP IN KANSAS!!! :D I get to meet my dear sister for the first time!!
10. I felt like there should be a tenth reason. ;) You're just so awesome, Adrienne.
The list could really go on and on... You're such a darling girl, Adri!! I love you SO much and I cannot WAIT to meet you in only 17 days!!!
Love you, girl! Have a beyond marvelous day, and may God bless you beyond measure throughout all of your coming years. Never lose that spark of life that clings to you so dearly.
<3 <3
~Julia/PQ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADRIENNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I realize this is somewhat late, but since you helped to make MY birthday extra special, I thought I should return the favour. :) I loved reading on your blog about how amazing your birthday was. I hope I can extend that amazingness by making it just a little more special!
Things I love about Adrienne:
1. She's my sis. What's not to love about that? ;)
2. She is sweet and kind, always lending a helping hand to others, never failing to be an encouragement.
3. She loves Jesus with all her heart, constantly acknowledging her Savior through everything she does.
4. She's an OYANer and a fellow writer.
5. She views life with so much joy and passion, and challenges each day with a smile.
6. She is insanely epic. B-)
7. She's adorable!! ^_^
8. She's sarcastic and funny and downright awesome. :D
9. And perhaps best of all, SHE'S GOING TO THE SUMMER WORKSHOP IN KANSAS!!! :D I get to meet my dear sister for the first time!!
10. I felt like there should be a tenth reason. ;) You're just so awesome, Adrienne.
The list could really go on and on... You're such a darling girl, Adri!! I love you SO much and I cannot WAIT to meet you in only 17 days!!!
Love you, girl! Have a beyond marvelous day, and may God bless you beyond measure throughout all of your coming years. Never lose that spark of life that clings to you so dearly.
<3 <3
~Julia/PQ
Sunday, May 27, 2012
News. Epic news.
I have some news.
Some pretty small news, actually.
But news, nonetheless.
Wait for it.
...
22 DAYS UNTIL THE OYAN SUMMER WORKSHOP AND REUNION IN KANSAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, so that was small news.
Seriously, though! 22 days until I get to meet my second family!! *explosion of confetti and trumpet blaring* 22 days until possibly the most epic week of my life!! 22 days until I get to spend a WEEK with nerdy writers like me! :D
I don't know about you, but this is my idea of a summer holiday. B-) It'll be like a summer camp, but with ten truckloads of awesome added to it, battles about the nerdiest things, epic skits, amazing lectures by amazing people, AWESOME PEOPLE, Whovians, Nerdfighters, musicians, and above all, homeschoolers. ALL IN THE SAME ROOM ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! O_O All that multiplied by 2. B-D
As I like to say, there is much to be done. I have a book to finish writing (or try to), someone else's book to finish critiquing before June, a costume to prepare, math and history to complete, a packing list to make, things to buy, lines to memorize, evil plans to carry out, a decision to make. Yep. I'm swamped. :P Oh, and not to mention, armour to prepare (for all those glomp attacks, y'know ;).
PLEASE, nobody pile anything more on me. I think I have enough on my shoulders to last for a good while. :P And three weeks to do it all! I do think, with God's help, that I will be able to make it and that everything will be prepared in good time. I hope.
Thanks for reading my rather random and pointless post! :D You people really make my day. ^_^
OYANers, beware! The queen shall be entering the court! Hold onto your pianos, or they will be played. ;)
Some pretty small news, actually.
But news, nonetheless.
Wait for it.
...
22 DAYS UNTIL THE OYAN SUMMER WORKSHOP AND REUNION IN KANSAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, so that was small news.
Seriously, though! 22 days until I get to meet my second family!! *explosion of confetti and trumpet blaring* 22 days until possibly the most epic week of my life!! 22 days until I get to spend a WEEK with nerdy writers like me! :D
I don't know about you, but this is my idea of a summer holiday. B-) It'll be like a summer camp, but with ten truckloads of awesome added to it, battles about the nerdiest things, epic skits, amazing lectures by amazing people, AWESOME PEOPLE, Whovians, Nerdfighters, musicians, and above all, homeschoolers. ALL IN THE SAME ROOM ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! O_O All that multiplied by 2. B-D
As I like to say, there is much to be done. I have a book to finish writing (or try to), someone else's book to finish critiquing before June, a costume to prepare, math and history to complete, a packing list to make, things to buy, lines to memorize, evil plans to carry out, a decision to make. Yep. I'm swamped. :P Oh, and not to mention, armour to prepare (for all those glomp attacks, y'know ;).
PLEASE, nobody pile anything more on me. I think I have enough on my shoulders to last for a good while. :P And three weeks to do it all! I do think, with God's help, that I will be able to make it and that everything will be prepared in good time. I hope.
Thanks for reading my rather random and pointless post! :D You people really make my day. ^_^
OYANers, beware! The queen shall be entering the court! Hold onto your pianos, or they will be played. ;)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Blessings Fall Like Rain
I realize I haven't posted in a long while, and for that I deeply apologize. But, no matter! I will just go ahead and write the post that I've been dying to write, though it is quite overdue.
I wanted to write a post on my last day of being 15, a long one that recalled all of the blessings God gave me in my fifteenth year, a pleasant goodbye to 15 and a warm welcome to 16. But, as it happened, that did NOT happen. I shall do it now, because my fifteenth year was just too full of blessings to be passed by.
Obviously, the highlight of the year was the Poland Mission trip in the summer of 2011. That was an eye-opening experience, which taught me many, many things, and opened me up to a lot of wonderful and lasting friendships I would not have had if I had decided to stay home. It was an amazing experience, seeing first-hand the deep need for Christ in Poland, and facing the culture in ways that reached beyond my comforts. It was an exposure to really give of myself and step forward with 30-some others to shed the light of the Gospel in the darkest corners of Poznan and Gdansk. It taught me patience, even through the worst of times, even when our evangelizing had to be cut short due to bad weather. I believe that God gave us that drenching rain for a reason, and that was to teach us that blessings can come out of it. I didn't realize it at the time, but God was testing our faith and our patience, seeing if we would persevere through it, and when we did, He poured blessings upon us. By the end of the trip, the sun had peeked its head out of the clouds and was shining upon us boldly and triumphantly, almost a symbol of Christ's victory over sin and death. There is no doubt that God blessed me considerably when He sent me on the mission trip, and that is one aspect of being fifteen that I will never forget.
When I was fifteen, I traveled Europe for the first time in my life. With my dad and sister, we drove through Germany, Belgium, Holland, and France, and crossed over to England by ferry. I saw many great monuments, including the Eiffel Tower, the London Eye, Big Ben, the Brandenburg Gate, the Arc de Triomphe, the Cologne Cathedral, the Notre Dame Cathedral, and several marvelous castles. Those were all man-made structures and they were all brilliant, but nothing can compare to the beauties of God's creation that my eyes fell upon. The white cliffs of Dover, the beautiful countryside of England, Brighton beach, the rippling fields of Holland, the Baltic Sea, gorgeous red sunsets, and yes, even the glistening droplets of rain. I felt blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve.
My fifteenth year was a year of firsts. Walking on cobblestones, climbing the Eiffel Tower, riding the tube in England, a long train ride on a passenger train, flying in a plane, travelling to Europe, seeing God's beauty extended into the far-off and unknown, singing in the streets, speaking in Polish, finishing my first novel, and numerous other things that I can't recall at this moment. It was a beyond amazing year.
I also strengthened friendships with my church friends by enjoying precious time with them. Going to the beach, to parties, to church events, to concerts. It was a year that brought me close to my friends, my family, and God.
Despite all of the hardships I suffered through, all of the sorrows that come with life, all of the trials that presented me with despair and hopelessness, I was blessed. The blessings fell like rain. And now, I know that I can face my sixteenth year with renewed hope. That I can endure through the hardships God gives me. That I can live in the light, and not the darkness.
Thank you, Lord, for my fifteenth year.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
~1 Peter 5:6-8
I wanted to write a post on my last day of being 15, a long one that recalled all of the blessings God gave me in my fifteenth year, a pleasant goodbye to 15 and a warm welcome to 16. But, as it happened, that did NOT happen. I shall do it now, because my fifteenth year was just too full of blessings to be passed by.
Obviously, the highlight of the year was the Poland Mission trip in the summer of 2011. That was an eye-opening experience, which taught me many, many things, and opened me up to a lot of wonderful and lasting friendships I would not have had if I had decided to stay home. It was an amazing experience, seeing first-hand the deep need for Christ in Poland, and facing the culture in ways that reached beyond my comforts. It was an exposure to really give of myself and step forward with 30-some others to shed the light of the Gospel in the darkest corners of Poznan and Gdansk. It taught me patience, even through the worst of times, even when our evangelizing had to be cut short due to bad weather. I believe that God gave us that drenching rain for a reason, and that was to teach us that blessings can come out of it. I didn't realize it at the time, but God was testing our faith and our patience, seeing if we would persevere through it, and when we did, He poured blessings upon us. By the end of the trip, the sun had peeked its head out of the clouds and was shining upon us boldly and triumphantly, almost a symbol of Christ's victory over sin and death. There is no doubt that God blessed me considerably when He sent me on the mission trip, and that is one aspect of being fifteen that I will never forget.
When I was fifteen, I traveled Europe for the first time in my life. With my dad and sister, we drove through Germany, Belgium, Holland, and France, and crossed over to England by ferry. I saw many great monuments, including the Eiffel Tower, the London Eye, Big Ben, the Brandenburg Gate, the Arc de Triomphe, the Cologne Cathedral, the Notre Dame Cathedral, and several marvelous castles. Those were all man-made structures and they were all brilliant, but nothing can compare to the beauties of God's creation that my eyes fell upon. The white cliffs of Dover, the beautiful countryside of England, Brighton beach, the rippling fields of Holland, the Baltic Sea, gorgeous red sunsets, and yes, even the glistening droplets of rain. I felt blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve.
My fifteenth year was a year of firsts. Walking on cobblestones, climbing the Eiffel Tower, riding the tube in England, a long train ride on a passenger train, flying in a plane, travelling to Europe, seeing God's beauty extended into the far-off and unknown, singing in the streets, speaking in Polish, finishing my first novel, and numerous other things that I can't recall at this moment. It was a beyond amazing year.
I also strengthened friendships with my church friends by enjoying precious time with them. Going to the beach, to parties, to church events, to concerts. It was a year that brought me close to my friends, my family, and God.
Despite all of the hardships I suffered through, all of the sorrows that come with life, all of the trials that presented me with despair and hopelessness, I was blessed. The blessings fell like rain. And now, I know that I can face my sixteenth year with renewed hope. That I can endure through the hardships God gives me. That I can live in the light, and not the darkness.
Thank you, Lord, for my fifteenth year.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
~1 Peter 5:6-8
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Praising God
I'm going to interrupt your day with a short posting on a few things I am very thankful for. God is truly a God of miracles. He has answered numerous prayers of mine, and He has made things happen that a year ago I would never have believed possible.
Number one is most obviously the Kansas trip. We have officially booked our flights, and are now in the process of getting our forms completed and sent in. I was also, by God's grace, able to get my video made for the OYAN Video Contest. :)
I'm also thankful for the many amazing friends that I have. It always fills me with so much joy when something wonderful happens to one of my friends, and particularly if a prayer has been answered. One of my friends just recently got a collection of short stories and poems published. It's called "Scribblings" and her name is L.E.R. Jenkins. Go order it on Lulu! :) Something else truly wondrous happened to another friend of mine, a dear, dear friend. God is enabling me and this friend to meet up this coming summer, and for the first time ever. It has been an answer to BOTH our prayers.
Another item of praise is that one of my other friends, who has been struggling with several health issues for quite awhile, is slowly on the way to recovery. :) I'm very happy for him, and will continue to pray daily.
"I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High."
~Psalm 7:17
Number one is most obviously the Kansas trip. We have officially booked our flights, and are now in the process of getting our forms completed and sent in. I was also, by God's grace, able to get my video made for the OYAN Video Contest. :)
I'm also thankful for the many amazing friends that I have. It always fills me with so much joy when something wonderful happens to one of my friends, and particularly if a prayer has been answered. One of my friends just recently got a collection of short stories and poems published. It's called "Scribblings" and her name is L.E.R. Jenkins. Go order it on Lulu! :) Something else truly wondrous happened to another friend of mine, a dear, dear friend. God is enabling me and this friend to meet up this coming summer, and for the first time ever. It has been an answer to BOTH our prayers.
Another item of praise is that one of my other friends, who has been struggling with several health issues for quite awhile, is slowly on the way to recovery. :) I'm very happy for him, and will continue to pray daily.
"I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High."
~Psalm 7:17
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
OYAN Summer Workshop 2012 pt. 2
And now... I bring you what you have all been waiting anxiously for. (Or so I hope). Part 2 of my Summer Workshop postings! If you haven't read part 1 yet, you can find it right here.
http://glimpsinguncertainty.blogspot.com/2012/03/oyan-summer-workshop-2012-pt-1.html
Let me just start out by saying that it is now official! I am going to the Summer Workshop 2012 FOR SURE!! The Lord willing, of course. But my parents have given me their consent, and all that is left to do is book our flights, fill out all the needed forms and send them with money, and then WAIT!
There are 97 days left until this spectacular event! The time couldn't go any slower, in my opinion! But when I think of all the words I have to write before then, all the chapters I have to accomplish, and all of the stubborn characters I must overcome, it makes the time seem a lot faster. Plus, I have the millions of other things to do, such as finishing up school, preparing for music recitals, critiquing someone's book (which I promised to do a long time ago), reply to important emails, and... OH! And get a video filmed for an OYAN Video Contest I'm hoping to participate in. It's supposed to be a 25-65 second video on how much I love OYAN. Which should be fairly easy, aside from the fact that I will have to face my fear of cameras and speak straight into one. The deadline for the contest is March 31st. Yes, I still have time. But time is running short... VERY short.
Back to where we started! Reasons I'm excited for the Summer Workshop:
1. First and foremost, I'm excited to meet the people! As I mentioned before, the OYANers are like family to me. Now, one cannot simply go through life without meeting family, correct? And having known most of these people for over two years, I feel like the time is way overdue to meet them. I get to meet up with my sisters for the first time! And a multitude of other people. Adrienne, Kenzie, Aimee, Christy, Jess, Lauree, Greg, Matt, Kyle, Mig, Daniel, Pip, Wooton, Braden, Janie. Just to name a few! And of course, I must not forget the infamous Mr. and Mrs. S!! They are the two amazing people responsible for creating this wonderful course. Without them, I would never have known all of these crazy, nerdy, homeschooled writers. ;)
Here ish a website on Daniel Schwabauer: http://www.danschwabauer.com/
2. I'm excited for the sessions. I heard (and watched some) that the lectures last year were AMAZING and truly inspiring. Well, I'm definitely going there prepared for some awe-inspiring talks! This year, we have people like Mark Wilson from Oregon, Stephanie Morrill, who is a fairly well-known authoress (here is her blog: http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/), Jeff Gerke, who is an editor, and of course, Mr. S. I'm looking forward to learning a LOT about writing this summer. :D
3. The critique groups. As is the custom, all of the students will be split off into small critique groups where we will, well, critique each other's work! We'll each read off a portion of our novel (O.O), and then receive helpful feedback. We may even have one of the speakers sitting in with us! I think it'll be extremely good for my novel, and for me as a person. I generally don't like reading off stuff I've written to other people, so this should be a great experience for me, and should help me in that area. Also, I've heard it's not just seriousness for 2 hours, or however long it goes for each day. I've heard that it's a real bonding time with your fellow OYANers. Each group comes up with something crazy, and one group (the Laughing Lothlorien Ladies) even created a whole play! The play was to make fun of popular "detached limb" mistakes in a lot of novels. Of course, I can't explain it to a full extent, so you must watch the video!
That should conclude it! Needless to say, I am VERY excited for this workshop and I anticipate it with a great deal of enthusiasm and hope. I can't go a day without dreaming about it. Dreaming about the manner in which I'll meet the people (whether I'll greet some of them with a scream, or a glomp, or just with my usual calm self), dreaming about my first reaction to every aspect of the workshop, and dreaming about the six days of epic epicness that I will be taking part in at last.
May the Lord be with you and give you many blessings this day!
http://glimpsinguncertainty.blogspot.com/2012/03/oyan-summer-workshop-2012-pt-1.html
Let me just start out by saying that it is now official! I am going to the Summer Workshop 2012 FOR SURE!! The Lord willing, of course. But my parents have given me their consent, and all that is left to do is book our flights, fill out all the needed forms and send them with money, and then WAIT!
There are 97 days left until this spectacular event! The time couldn't go any slower, in my opinion! But when I think of all the words I have to write before then, all the chapters I have to accomplish, and all of the stubborn characters I must overcome, it makes the time seem a lot faster. Plus, I have the millions of other things to do, such as finishing up school, preparing for music recitals, critiquing someone's book (which I promised to do a long time ago), reply to important emails, and... OH! And get a video filmed for an OYAN Video Contest I'm hoping to participate in. It's supposed to be a 25-65 second video on how much I love OYAN. Which should be fairly easy, aside from the fact that I will have to face my fear of cameras and speak straight into one. The deadline for the contest is March 31st. Yes, I still have time. But time is running short... VERY short.
Back to where we started! Reasons I'm excited for the Summer Workshop:
1. First and foremost, I'm excited to meet the people! As I mentioned before, the OYANers are like family to me. Now, one cannot simply go through life without meeting family, correct? And having known most of these people for over two years, I feel like the time is way overdue to meet them. I get to meet up with my sisters for the first time! And a multitude of other people. Adrienne, Kenzie, Aimee, Christy, Jess, Lauree, Greg, Matt, Kyle, Mig, Daniel, Pip, Wooton, Braden, Janie. Just to name a few! And of course, I must not forget the infamous Mr. and Mrs. S!! They are the two amazing people responsible for creating this wonderful course. Without them, I would never have known all of these crazy, nerdy, homeschooled writers. ;)
Here ish a website on Daniel Schwabauer: http://www.danschwabauer.com/
2. I'm excited for the sessions. I heard (and watched some) that the lectures last year were AMAZING and truly inspiring. Well, I'm definitely going there prepared for some awe-inspiring talks! This year, we have people like Mark Wilson from Oregon, Stephanie Morrill, who is a fairly well-known authoress (here is her blog: http://goteenwriters.blogspot.com/), Jeff Gerke, who is an editor, and of course, Mr. S. I'm looking forward to learning a LOT about writing this summer. :D
3. The critique groups. As is the custom, all of the students will be split off into small critique groups where we will, well, critique each other's work! We'll each read off a portion of our novel (O.O), and then receive helpful feedback. We may even have one of the speakers sitting in with us! I think it'll be extremely good for my novel, and for me as a person. I generally don't like reading off stuff I've written to other people, so this should be a great experience for me, and should help me in that area. Also, I've heard it's not just seriousness for 2 hours, or however long it goes for each day. I've heard that it's a real bonding time with your fellow OYANers. Each group comes up with something crazy, and one group (the Laughing Lothlorien Ladies) even created a whole play! The play was to make fun of popular "detached limb" mistakes in a lot of novels. Of course, I can't explain it to a full extent, so you must watch the video!
That should conclude it! Needless to say, I am VERY excited for this workshop and I anticipate it with a great deal of enthusiasm and hope. I can't go a day without dreaming about it. Dreaming about the manner in which I'll meet the people (whether I'll greet some of them with a scream, or a glomp, or just with my usual calm self), dreaming about my first reaction to every aspect of the workshop, and dreaming about the six days of epic epicness that I will be taking part in at last.
May the Lord be with you and give you many blessings this day!
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