All of us fall into this trap of self-doubt, worthlessness, and little to no significance to those around us. All of us can quickly become consumed by the thoughts of "I don't make a difference", "I'm not impacting anyone", "I will never be enough." I fall into this lie way too easily and way too often, and I just want to say... Hey. It's not true. You make a difference. Yes, you may be struggling; yes, you may have lost vision, passion, your goals, to an overwhelming darkness and confusion. I understand. I get that, too. I go through life wondering if I'm doing ANYthing to lighten the load for anyone. I wonder if I'm even doing a speck of work for God; if I'm reaching out enough, advancing Christ's Kingdom. Anything.
Literally every time I fall into the trap, the deception, God shows me something and it's difficult to acknowledge, but almost impossible to accept. He tends to show me that it doesn't matter if what I'm doing is simply saying hi and smiling to the cashier at the grocery store, or giving a friend (or acquaintance) a hug at church, or writing the world's next bestseller, or even sending out encouragements over facebook chat. It doesn't matter. It. Doesn't. Matter. So long as you're doing something, you're doing something. Any step in the right direction is better than no step at all. Sometimes all it takes is to show up and that's enough. Sometimes you have to invite someone over for tea and spend quality time and invest in their life. And sometimes (and this is the hardest one for me), you have to be okay with the mundane by going to work each day, just to come home and spend time with family for a few short hours before bed.
When God has a plan, it doesn't mean all the pieces will fit together perfectly the first day you set out to do His will. Sometimes it's about the waiting. Sometimes it's about the mundane and being content with that. Joyful, even.
The same with people. You THINK you don't make a lick of difference in anyone's life, that you just pass through each day doing the same things and seeing the same people and nobody notices you. That you're just a wallflower. Let me tell you a secret.
You're NOT just a wallflower. YOU, yes you, make a difference. I can't explain how or when or why, so I'll leave that up to God to decide. I can't possibly know His mind or understand anything He's working out for the good of His children, but I think the key thing is to trust that there IS a plan and that it's being worked out right now. Through us. Through me and you, through every interaction with every human being on this earth.
You and I both know deep down that we need people, no matter how much it hurts to be vulnerable, no matter our past experiences, and no matter whether we're introverts or extroverts. How does it feel to you when someone pays attention to you? Gives you the time of day when they really could just ignore you and continue on with their lives? I know it gives me some twinge of hope, and like I'm not completely abandoned or alone.
The next time you pass a stranger on the street, give them a smile, maybe say hi. It may very well brighten their day, or brighten yours. The next time you see someone you care about, whether it be a family member or a friend, talk to them or hug them. Don't ignore them. If you can't believe you don't make a difference, I can't help you because I know how incredibly hard it is to sweep that mindset. But I think we need to start believing, and then make an effort, if a small one. Any effort, even if it's just getting out of bed and going to work--showing up--could impact someone's life.
You make a difference.
God has a plan and He should hopefully be making a huge difference in your life.
You are significant and important in God's eyes. You're part of His plan.
You make a difference.