Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Meet Vincent

This is my lion, Vincent. Say hi!

I named him so because of one of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who, Vincent and The Doctor. Vincent Van Gogh in the episode has a ginger beard, and my lion is orange, so I figured... Why not? ^_^

I won Vincent at a birthday party a couple months ago. Now, every time I look at him, I can be reminded of one of the best characters in Doctor Who since Sarah Jane and Tom Baker ruled the show.

Vincent and the Doctor is a story of undying love, of beauty through pain, of a heart so passionate it hurts. Together with Amy Pond, the Eleventh generation of the Doctor travels through time in his TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) and meets the famous (or not-so-famous yet) painter, Vincent van Gogh, in the attempts of alleviating some of his pain and battling an invisible monster that plagues the village and its inhabitants. Vincent shows such kindness to the Doctor and Amy as I've never seen before by anyone, and his passion... Oh, his passion is something to admire. The way he talks about the stars and makes reference to God's creation in such a way that almost accurately portrays their brilliance. Not many people can say that they've looked up into the heavens on a starry night as a Dutch artist with a flaming red beard and a heart overflowing with passion and delight describes the entire scene to them in words so beautiful, anyone would be captured. In a perspective that is so completely and refreshingly his.

And the pain he goes through. You can see it, you can feel it, you can relate to it. That's how real this magnificent character is. At the beginning of the episode, the Doctor and Amy meet him trying to sell a painting of his. He just wants to be heard, to be noticed. But more than that, he wants the beauty of life to be seen by everyone, not just himself. He yearns for it to be appreciated just as much as he clings to it. Yet when nobody else sees it as he does, he despairs and sinks into loneliness and no one can lift him out of it. But he still has a faint glimmer of hope, and that's what matters. And he can see Amy's loneliness because of how true his heart is. He, above most, knows people. He's experienced the raw emotions of sorrow, regret, delight, loneliness, overwhelming joy, love, compassion, deep sadness. He cries for the world because he knows.

And then there's the Doctor. Lonely as ever, tortured with pain and sadness and losing people, though with an enthusiasm so bright that he listens intently as Vincent tells him about the magnificence of the universe, while silently saying "I know. I've seen all of this and much, much more. I've seen the universe at its best and at its worst. I've seen the stars in their fullest radiance and I've felt the heat of the sun, so I know. You don't need to tell me." The Doctor admires and appreciates things everywhere. Vincent is grounded on earth and appreciates them from afar.

Vincent Van Gogh: Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is, in fact deep blue. And over there: lighter blue and blowing through the blues and blackness the winds swirling through the air and then shining, burning, bursting through: the stars! And you see how they roar their light. Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
Vincent Van Gogh: It seems to me there's so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe, if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamt of.
The Doctor: You don't have to tell me.

And then they show Vincent into the TARDIS and take him to a modern day museum where he sees all of his paintings displayed on the walls. He was noticed, his voice was heard. Even if it took until after his death.

Vincent Van Gogh: [after seeing the TARDIS interior] How come I'm the crazy one, and you two have stayed both sane?

And when Vincent heard this being spoken of him... He cried.

The Doctor: Between you and me, in a hundred words, where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?
Curator: Well... um... big question, but, to me Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular, great painter of all time. The most beloved, his command of colour most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world, no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.

Later, once they said their farewells to their painter friend, they discovered Vincent took his life only a few short months later. His suicide still happened, though he seemed to have regained new hope.

Amy Pond: We didn't make a difference at all.
The Doctor: I wouldn't say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. [hugs Amy] The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

I don't think there's any more that can be said. The Doctor said it perfectly. Everyone, a moment of silence for our dear friend, Vincent Van Gogh, who made a difference. Who let his passions be discovered and who influenced a world of hurting people. Praise God for a man like Van Gogh.


Friday, February 1, 2013


People say home is where the heart is. Well, if that's true, then home is definitely in Kansas with my OYANers and Mr. and Mrs. S and the workshops.

Lately, I've been feeling like there's something missing in my life. Something that's been torn out of me, leaving me emotionless and empty. It's like I'm at home, but I'm not REALLY at home. A piece of my heart is gone, left long ago in the summer months of last year, in a lovely little place called Olathe, Kansas. And I long for that life again.

Don't get me wrong now. I love my family here in Canada. I love my life, love my friends, love everything about this place and where God has put me in life. I love that He's given me a purpose for living, a chance to be a warrior to fight for truth. But sometimes a person has to dream. And sometimes that dream is Kansas, at a writer's workshop, with a bunch of crazy homeschooled teens and a growing number of college students. And sometimes that dream is something else. But I'd like to say my dream is to be with my OYANers again.

I've been an OYANer for three and a half years now. I've been through many of the ruts and bumps that an online forum community can possibly have, and I've been through some of the most amazing, life-changing moments of my life. I've made some of the best friends I have through that curriculum and community, and I've learned more about myself and about God through it all. I love that not only have I, as an individual, grown over these past three and a half years, but the entire OYAN family has grown and developed and matured along with one another. And there's a whole host of people who are new to this wonderful thing, and we, as an older generation, get to disciple and advise them along their writing/life journeys. :)

So, yes. My heart lies with OYAN. OYAN is my home. And even though it's looking impossible for me to travel back to see my family this summer, I can hold onto the hope of one day meeting them again. It's that one place I belong. I said I would never leave back when I first started... I never knew how much that small commitment would really mean.

It's changed my life. For the better.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Love Notes Project

Firstly, take a look at this blog post by a good friend of mine.

Then, consider it. And if you're interested in participating in something like this, follow her instructions and do it. :)

I'm just about to type up a love note myself. This is definitely not something I do every day. It's just that I feel it's important because I'm getting older and things are changing. While I'm not in the stage to think about relationships such as the kind mentioned in the above blog post, I'm in the process of being taught what love is. Lack of love is a huge issue for me, something I personally struggle with daily. I tend to think of love and a relationship as what a person can do for me, rather than what I can do for others. And I know that's wrong, which is why I feel God's putting up all these obstacles and hardships for me in my friendships. So that He can teach me the true meaning of love.

I'm not sure exactly why I said all that, but there it is. All I ask is for you to consider this. :)

God bless!

Friday, January 11, 2013

Two Songs

M'kay, so this song is one of my favourites by The Afters, called "Life is Beautiful." It's featured in the movie October Baby, which is about a girl who finds out she's adopted and her birth mother tried to abort her at six months, but she survived. I think this song is a good reminder that life is precious, no matter who we are, no matter where God has placed us in life. Life is beautiful and life matters. Down to the tiniest cell in a mother's womb. Because that's something living, right?

I definitely believe so.

Also, I discovered a new band. It's called Run Kid Run. I think it's amaaaazing. My new favourite band. Here's one of their songs, "One in A Million."