WARNING: This will be quite a bit longer and quite a bit more serious than my other posts. There. You have been warned. Now, onward....
Have you ever taken a peek into others' lives to get your inspirations? Have you ever been truly moved and inspired by how another person moves through life? I have. Numerous times, actually. Two friends come to mind when I think of this, two girls that are going through a very difficult time, yet are still so happy and have a zeal for life that I often envy. Whenever I'm feeling moody or depressed, I think of these girls and it reminds me of the most important things in life. I don't have to be depressed. My problems are few compared to countless others. Yet I complain. But these girls remind me that God is the only way out of the sinful influences of the world, the idea that "life isn't fair." Sure, we question God from time to time, but I have learned that God has a reason for everything He does. And I mean
everything. I feel extremely grateful and blessed to know such amazing people who remind me of this.
My first, but not only, inspiration is a dear friend of mine from church, Rebecca. Just a few months ago, she went in to get tested and found out she has lymphoma cancer. She's had to go in to the hospital multiple times and has had the first couple stages of chemo, losing her hair in the process. This has been really hard on both her and her family, but I think--at least on the outside--that she's been handling this all extremely well. She's keeping her eyes on God and not losing her faith through all her trials. I think Rebecca is an amazing example of a faithful daughter of Christ. I don't know how I would be able to handle being in her situation, but I would probably not be near as strong. Rebecca is still so cheerful, still so happy, and still loves God and the life He has given her. Everything has changed for her. She can't do many of the things she's used to doing, and she's kept on a strict diet as well. It must be frustrating at times, yet she remains faithful. It shows immensely by the smile I always see on her face. Please keep her in your prayers.
This is her blog if you want to keep updated:
http://rebeccavroom.blogspot.com/Another girl that immediately pops up into my mind is a girl I know, but have never met, from an online writer's forum I'm a part of. I don't know her real name, but we all call her Skye. Instead of attempting to explain her situation in my own words, I'm going to post a little of what she wrote. Some of it is directed to the forum people, so you can ignore those parts. ;)
"I have some health problems, and I need to explain them because there are several things I won't be able to do that need explaining. Okay. Well, I have a whole lot of allergies and because of that I live on a diet of meat, seafood, sweet potatoes, milk, butter and cinnamon. I have to stay away from all fragrences, perfumes, soaps, lotions, air fresheners, cleaners, etc., and because of so many things I can't inhale it's very hard to go out in public at all. My adrenals are really weak and I don't have much energy. So I have to budget the energy that I do have carefully--I have to plan my tips downstairs and upstairs so I won't have to climb them too much, or decide when to go to the store with my family and when I need to stay home, that sort of thing. Because of all the
trouble with chemicals I haven't been able to go to church in about a year now. It's been very hard for me, emotionally and physically, and not being able to see my brothers and sisters in Him there. But Jesus is helping me! I'm holding on to Him and He will see me through. I just need to explain because there are a lot of things I can't do concerning reading and critiquing, and watching too--I can't watch anything intense, anything where the character gets hurt or killed or somethin' like that. Loud noises and explosions and shooting will mess me up as well; I can't watch Star Wars any more *wails* and I have to leave the room on the bad guy scenes in stuff like Wall-e and Up and Tangled, or anything, really. I may not be able to critique or be on the forum or even the computer much, depending on how I'm doing. My health is really unpredictable and I have good days and bad days, but it's never constant. If I'm on at all, that means I'm doing okay to fairly well! :D I collapse, faint, crumple up, get dizzy, nauseated, headaches and constant fatigue a whoooooooole lot, so be warned!"
And another post of Skye's:"My Khara Allundil and I were watching Enchanted last winter together with her brother and sisters and mother: it was my first time to see it. We were having so much fun laughing over that utterly peacock-ish prince Edward and the silly, maiden-ish, innocent Giselle and Pip and all the little things that are meaningful or funny or sweet. We got to the part where the queen pushed Giselle into the well on her wedding day. Nathaniel scampered up to her and huffed, "my most adored queen, where did you send her?" and Narissa answered, in that thrilling deep voice she has, "to a place where there are no happily ever afters."
That sort of struck us both, and we started thinking about it. It's true...you will never find a happily ever after if you look for it in the world. But if you look up, if you look to Him, then yes--Heaven, we both decided. Heaven is our Happily Ever After.
If I die in this time of trouble, I know that I'll go Home, I'll go to my Happily Ever After, forever with Jesus. But I don't believe He wants me to die yet. There is so, so much that I still want to do for Him here, so many stories I want to tell, so many songs I want to sing. There are promises that haven't been fulfiled yet, adventures that haven't been resolved yet. I want to tell those stories, sing those songs, live to see what my adventure's ending will be. I want to make people see through my eyes and point them to Him through my writing...through everything I do. So I'm not giving up, and I'm not about to give in: as long as I'm still here, there is work yet to be done for Jesus. But like Mr S says, the stakes keep getting raised higher and higher, and this body of mine can only take so much.
I was checked in to see a doctor on Saturday--hence the status.
They're trying to test me to figure out what's wrong and if we're missing some underlying problem like a heart failure, a tumor, a low endocrine count, anything that we haven't checked yet. All of my symptoms match up to adrenal problems, but we need someone professional to be able to say for sure that it is or it isn't. The doctor said that there isn't anything else anyone in our area can do to help me, and I need to go to a bigger hospital in a different state for more resources and variety. I'm on the waiting list, but it could take until December to get me in, and until then I'm in a very delicate and dangerous position. All the tests they have run and will have to run on me make me react rather violently, because I'm allergic to so many of the innumerable things that wouldn't hurt a normal person. Simple things like hand sanitizer on the doctor's hands or the metal of the machine, or the soap they washed the sheets with, almost everything makes me react and it puts a load on someone who's already loaded down and can't carry any more weight. But I've been extremely weakened and I can't walk or leave my room hardly at all. I couldn't be admitted to the hospital permenantly because of all the allergens there that would absolutley kill me.
I have good days and bad days, the good days being when I can get things done around the house and reply to letters, write stories, finish school, all of that good stuff...the bad days being when I'm bedridden or too weak to get downstairs. I would appreciate it if anyone who cares to pray would keep praying until we can get to that hospital and back again, in December. I'll try to keep you guys posted if you'd be interested in keeping up.
I can have my laptop with me for school purposes, and thus I've been able to log into the Forum, most thankfully! *happy* If I'm not on or can't reply to your PMs quickly, that will be because a chain of bad days have weighed me down and I'm struggling, so please know it isn't because I'm ignoring you or anything. I would never do that. If you will pray for me, please pray that as long as these symptoms don't go away, I'll have the strength to bear them--losing consciousness, migranes, fatigue, weakness, throwing up, losing weight, not being able to sleep, not being able to focus or concentrate on anything, not being strong enough to leave the house or see anyone in public almost at all. And just overall some loneliness that's been trying to eat me up from the inside out, which is hard to wrestle down. I'm trying my best to keep my eyes on Him. He is helping me; God is so good.
There are some people in my life who don't understand my situation, and are also very forceful and domineering. When I tell them I can't do something or go somewhere, they'll drag me in whether I can or not, and I'll react, and things just get worse. So if you could pray for them to please at least let me decide for myself, even if they don't agree or understand. That would be a wonderful relief.
I hope this isn't too long or grumbly or anything. God bless you guys. You're amazing, all of you...it just blows my mind, all that you've done for me and how much you care. This forum is a tremendous blessing. I can't think of any words to thank you enough, but thank you, thank you, so very, very much--it means more to me than you'll ever know. I would like to thank in particular Valerie, He-Who-Calls-Himself-Cyreno, Sir Marshall, Ray, Ruby, and Katie...you guys are beyond the limits of any words I could muster, and I love you all as brothers and sisters in Christ so much. All my thanks to everyone who has commented or sent me messages, and anyone who ever does! I may not be able to reply to each and every one of you, but I'm thankful to every individual and I pray God blesses you all in special, amazing ways.
All my heart, and in His hope,
<3 Skye <3
If you got through all that, you will see why Skye, in particular, inspires me. She knows she could die, yet she's so happy and, above all, she loves God. Thank you for being my inspirations, Rebecca and Skye. <3Question: Who inspires you? Reply with a comment! :)
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.
~Psalm 42: 5-6a
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
~Matthew 11: 28-30
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
~Philippians 4:6